Already Exhausted? Stop Treating December Like a Competitive Sport
Show Notes
It is early December, and if you are already tired, I want you to mentally raise your hand. We have somehow convinced ourselves that the holidays aren't just a month, but a competitive sport where we have signed up for the ultimate "Holiday Triathlon": baking, wrapping, and crying in the car.
In this episode, we are calling out the absolute absurdity of the things we do to ourselves in the name of holiday spirit. From the deep regret of the "unpaid internship" that is the Elf on the Shelf , to the "hostage negotiation" of taking a family holiday photo, we are keeping it real. If you are ready to stop trying to gold medal in every event and actually survive the holidays with your sanity intact, this episode is for you
In This Episode:
(00:00) - Why December feels like a competitive sport and the "Holiday Triathlon"
(01:39) - The Elf on the Shelf Regret: Why it becomes a panic attack at 11:30 PM
(03:33) - The Holiday Card Photo: Why it’s basically a hostage negotiation
(05:23) - Stop Doomscrolling: Using the Paced App to numb out less and rest more
(07:12) - The Baking Guilt Trap: Why "outsourcing" cookies is a system, not laziness
(10:34) - The Wrapping Paper Marathon: When your gifts start looking like ransom notes
Resources Mentioned:
The Paced App: A gentle pattern interrupt to help you stop doomscrolling when you are stressed. Join the waitlist at getpaced.app.
This Week's Challenge:
When you feel the pressure to bake from scratch, remember: buying cookies from a local maker supports another woman's side hustle and keeps your kitchen clean. That is not lazy; that is a system.
🔗 CONNECT WITH RHONDA
Website: rhondalavoie.com
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Follow the Paced App journey: getpaced.app
Music for The Rhonda Lavoie Podcast: "Sunny Days" by Jimmy Gunnarsson via Descript.
Transcript
[00:00:03] It is December 2nd, and if you are already tired, I want you to just mentally raise your hand. We have 23 days until the big day and I'm already looking at that elf on the shelf and wondering if he accidentally fell behind the couch and got stuck there for two and a half weeks. Would that be a tragedy?
[00:00:31] Or maybe would that be the best, greatest vacation of my life? Welcome back to The Rhonda Lavoie Podcast. I'm so glad you're here. This is the show that is all about getting it done and keeping it real, and today, oh, we are keeping it very real because it is early December.
[00:00:51] And I can feel the collective blood pressure of women everywhere rising. We have somehow convinced ourselves that December isn't just a month, it's a competitive sport. We have signed up for the ultimate holiday triathlon, baking, wrapping, and crying in the car. We are trying to gold medal in every single event and honestly.
[00:01:19] I'm exhausted just thinking about it, so grab your coffee or your wine. No judgment here. It's December and pull up a chair. I wanna talk about the absolute absurdity of the things that we do to ourselves in the name of holiday spirit. Here are my holiday confessions.
[00:01:39] Let's start with the big one. The elf, you know the one on the shelf. Now listen, crystal and I, we fought this. We held the line for a long time. We were firm in the camp of, no, we are not bringing that creepy little spy into our house. We're not doing it. But then Brielle started coming home from school and she would look at us with those big sad eyes and say, why don't I have one?
[00:02:06] Everyone else has one. She'd tell us about the kids' elf doing zip lines across the kitchen or baking mini donuts outta Cheerios, and she'd feel totally left out. And as a parent, that is your kryptonite. It wasn't about the toy, it was about her feeling like the odd one out.
[00:02:26] So we caved, we got the elf, and let me tell you what a regret. Because now it's not just a toy, it's this like unpaid internship. I didn't apply for, it starts out cute December 1st, but by tonight it's a panic attack. You know the feeling. You finally get to bed, you're warm, you're drifting off. The house is quiet, and then bam, your eyes fly open.
[00:02:55] I didn't move the elf, and now you have a choice. Do you stay warm and risk the morning tears, , or do you army crawl through the living room at 11:30? Trying not to wake the dog just to find a spot that isn't sat on the shelf again.
[00:03:13] And when you inevitably forget, you have to lie to your children's face. Oh, he didn't move because I, I think I touched him by accident. He lost his magic for 24 hours. He's just resting. The lies we tell to cover for a felt doll. Oh, it's a little ridiculous.
[00:03:33] Next up on the list of things that drive us crazy, the holiday card photo. You know the vision, right? A serene, snowy field. The sun is setting perfectly. . The sun is hitting everyone's hair just right. Everyone looks effortless and happy.
[00:03:52] The reality, it's a hostage negotiation. You're sweating in a parka because you're running back and forth through the tripod 10 times to set the timer. You are bribing the toddler with smarties. If you smile, you get a red one. Look here. Oh, you wanna cry? How about the dog? The dog is looking at the tree.
[00:04:14] He's looking at the ground. He's lick his paw. He's literally looking everywhere except the camera. The teenager. Don't get me started. The teenager looks like they'd rather be having a root canal. And your partner's checking their watch every 30 seconds asking, do we really need another one? I think the first one was fine.
[00:04:36] And you're standing there sweating, yelling through a frozen smile. Just look like you love each other for one second. Honestly, wouldn't it be refreshing?
[00:04:46] Honestly, wouldn't it be refreshing just to send a card with all the outtakes? I wanna see the card where the toddler's crying, the dog's barking at a squirrel. Your partner's blinking and you look like you're about to scream. Just a collage of the chaos. I think we'd all enjoy that version more than the fake, perfect version. Anyway.
[00:05:06] Hey, real quick, while you're laughing about the stress, let's be honest about how we cope with it. When the elf isn't moved or the photo goes wrong, the to-do list is just a mile long. What do you do? Do you check your phone? Do you find yourself hiding in the pantry or sitting in the car in the driveway?
[00:05:23] Doomscrolling Instagram for 20 minutes just the numb out from the overwhelm. That's exactly why I'm building the pay stop. It's not about banning your phone, it's about giving you a gentle nudge, a pattern interrupt so you don't lose your "me time" to a screen. When you're already stressed out. If you wanna survive the holidays with your sanity intact, come join the wait list at getpaced.app
[00:05:49] Alright, back to the confessions. How about the gingerbread house? Or as it should be called, the construction side of tears. Why is this considered a family fun activity? It isn't baking, it's structural engineering, and let's be honest, most of us are not qualified contractors. You get that kit, the walls are warped, the icing is basically glue that doesn't stick to anything.
[00:06:16] You have to hold the roof on for 10 minutes and your arms like start to cramp. You think it's set and you kinda like gently let it go and you watch the whole thing slide off in slow motion, then the kids are crying because the house is condemned. You're frustrated because there is icing in your hair , and no one even eats it.
[00:06:36] It just sits on the counter collecting dust until January. And frankly, I have a bone to pick with Instagram about the matching pajamas too. We have convinced ourselves that the peak of holiday joy is forcing adults to dress like giant toddlers. Your partner probably doesn't want to wear a plaid onesie. You probably really don't wanna wear a plaid onesie, because let's be honest, they're always made of that cheap fleece that makes you overheat in five minutes. The static electricity alone could probably power the Christmas tree lights, but we do it,
[00:07:12] we spend a small fortune on pajamas. We will wear one time for the photo. Okay, so this is the big one. This is the guilt trap. Somewhere along the line, we decided that good moms bake from scratch. And the worst part, it isn't a one time event, it is a repeating nightmare throughout the entire month of December.
[00:07:36] You think you're safe, and then your kid walks in from school at 4:00 PM and drops their backpack and says, oh, I forgot to tell you I have a cookie potluck tomorrow. I need two dozen. Right? Or worse, they hit you with a comparison. They look at you and say, mom, Tyler's mom brought homemade cupcakes with little reindeer on them today.
[00:07:57] How come you never bring cupcakes? So now suddenly you're standing in the kitchen at midnight covered in flour, resentful the kitchen looks like a crime scene. You're trying to roll out sugar cookies, but the dough is too sticky, so they end up looking like little blobs instead of stars. But here's my hot, take the grocery store.
[00:08:15] They sell delicious cookies. Or if you wanna level up, if you wanna look like a total rockstar without even turning on your oven, buy from the overachiever mom. You know, the one, the mom who actually loves baking and is selling holiday tins on Facebook or at the local market.
[00:08:31] You buy her cookies, you put cash in her pocket, you support her side hustle, and you show up with beautiful homemade treats. Your kids are happy, you supported another woman, and you didn't have to clean flour outta the grout lines in the counter.
[00:08:46] That is not lazy. That is the system that is outsourcing, that is getting it done. Oh, how about this one? The Stocking. So you go to the store just for a few things. You enter a fugue state, you lose time. Next thing you know, you're throwing plastic junk into the cart.
[00:09:05] Oh, a screaming chicken toy? Sure. A plastic maze that will break in four seconds. Why not a flashlight that requires batteries I don't have?. Sure. And it goes, you leave $200 poor just to fill vertical space with stuff that will be lost under the coach by 9:00 AM Christmas day.
[00:09:23] And can we talk about the geometry for a second here? Why are stocking shaped like feet? Nothing we buy is shaped like a foot. The book, it's rectangle, the chocolate box square, trying to shove square gifts into a felt sock. The physics just don't work.
[00:09:45] And speaking of shopping, we need to talk about that person. You know who I mean? You run into them at the coffee shop, you're frazzled, your hair's a mess, you have a receipt stock to your shoe, and you ask. Just to be polite. How's your shopping going? And they look at you with this serene, glowing face and say, oh, I'm done.
[00:10:08] I actually finished in October. Everything's wrapped in under the tree. I'm just relaxing watching movies. Listen to me closely. Read the room. Susan, do not tell me you were done. I haven't even started. It's rude. Lie to me. Tell me you're stressed too. Tell me you haven't bought a single thing.
[00:10:26] We need solidarity right now. Not a reminder that we're behind schedule.
[00:10:34] And finally, the wrapping paper marathon. Every year we tell ourselves the same lie. We're going to wrap as we go. We're going to be organized. We never do. So it's Christmas Eve, it's 11 o'clock. The kids are finally asleep and you're sitting on the floor surrounded by rolls of paper and your back is already screaming at you. The first three gifts, you wrap, they look amazing. Sharp creases, ribbons curled perfectly. You feel like Martha Stewart.
[00:11:06] But by Gift 40 it looks like a ransom note. You try to do that satisfying scissor glide through the paper, you know shhhhhh, but then it catches rippppp. Now you have a jaged Edge. You run at a good tape, so you're using the weird blue pagers tape from the garage.
[00:11:25] You measure wrong, so you have to do the patch of shame. Just taping a scrap of paper over the gap. and then Christmas morning comes. You spend six hours wrapping these things and the kids, they rip it off in seconds.
[00:11:38] And then Christmas morning comes, you spend six hours wrapping these things and the kids, they rip it off in three seconds flat. Don't even look at the bow. They treat it like garbage because it is garbage.
[00:11:49] How about we just wrap a few so they can get that satisfaction of unwrapping and then just use gift bags.
[00:11:54] It's way easier, way cheaper. 'cause you can reuse them until 2035. So listen, if you see me crying in my car, in the mall parking lot over the next three weeks, just wave, keep driving. I'm fine. This is fine.
[00:12:12] Everything's fine. Good luck out there everyone. If today's rant, made you feel a little less alone, hit follow or subscribe so you don't miss the next one. You can find the show notes at rhondalavoie.com. Until next time, get it done and keep it real.
