Bounce Back Faster: The Secret to Sticking With Any Habit.
Show Notes
How many times have you started a new habit, only to miss a day and quit altogether? In this episode, Rhonda tackles the "all-or-nothing" trap that derails our best intentions.
Learn how to reframe "failure" as a "hiccup" and discover the simple, powerful rule that is the key to building resilience: Bounce Back Faster. This episode is packed with personal stories and scientific insights to help you stop punishing yourself for missteps and start celebrating the win of getting back on track.
In This Episode:
(00:00) - The "Next Monday" Myth: Why We Quit
(00:55) - The "All-or-Nothing" Trap & My Video Podcast Story
(01:54) - The Reframe: Why "Hiccup" is a More Powerful Word than "Failure"
(03:03) - The "Bounce Back Faster" Rule, Explained in 3 Parts
(04:56) - Troubleshooting: What to Do When You Don't Feel Like Bouncing Back
(05:59) - The Science of Self-Compassion with Dr. Kristin Neff
(07:37) - Recap & Your Weekly Challenge
(00:01) - The "Gong Show" Morning: Are You Starting Your Day in Chaos?
Resources Mentioned:
Concept: Self-Compassion (Dr. Kristin Neff)
This Week's Challenge:
The next time you have a hiccup with a habit, notice that inner critic, tell it to take a hike, and then consciously celebrate the win of getting back on track.
🔗 CONNECT WITH RHONDA
Website: rhondalavoie.com
Instagram: @rhonda.lavoie
Facebook: Rhonda Lavoie
TikTok:@ rhonda.lavoie
Music for The Rhonda Lavoie Podcast: "Sunny Days" by Jimmy Gunnarsson via Descript.
Transcript
All right. Let's be honest. How many times have you started a new habit on a Monday full of motivation only to miss a day and tell yourself, well, I blew it. I guess I'll start again next Monday. If you've done that, you're not alone. I've been there. We've all been there. That all or nothing thinking is the number one reason our best intentions fail.
Today we're gonna talk about the simple system I use to break that cycle. Welcome back to the Ron Lavoie podcast. I'm so glad you're here. This is the show that's all about getting it done and keeping it real. Today we're digging into what happens when you fall off track with a habit and my simple rule to fix it, bounce back faster.
That next Monday mindset is what I call the all or nothing trap. We aim for a perfect streak, and the second we're not perfect, we quit. It's easier for our brain to protect the idea of a perfect attempt that it is to accept that sometimes things get a little messy. I have a very real example of this from my own life.
A while ago, I decided I was going to turn this podcast. Into a video podcast. I recorded one episode and then I had a long, several month delay. A lot of it was my own self-consciousness. That dialogue in my head started telling me all the stuff, you're not good enough. What will people think? You can't make a video podcast as good as all the other people.
You sound too rehearsed. No wait. You're not rehearsed enough. All those things held me back. And this brings up a big question. When you stop the habit for a day, do you consider this a failure or is it more like a hiccup? There's a big difference. Let's really talk about the word failure for a second.
Just the word itself feels heavy, right? It feels final. It's like a brick in the pit of your stomach. It's a black and white judgment that says you tried and you are done. The end. It doesn't leave any room for a, well, I learned something or I can try again tomorrow. It's just final. And it invites that inner critic to tell you that you failed and you should just quit.
But hiccup. First off, the word is just more fun to say. Seriously. Just say it. Hiccup. It sounds way lighter than failure. Right? And that's what it feels like. A hiccup feels light, it's temporary, unintentional. It's a stumble, not a fall. The real problem isn't the hiccup itself, it's how we beat ourselves up about it.
And that's where my personal rule comes in. It's an expression I live by and it's simple. Bounce back faster. So what do I mean by bounce back faster? It's a simple mindset shift. It means you stop focusing on having a perfect streak, and you start focusing on how quickly you can recover from a hiccup.
The new goal isn't to never fall down. The new goal is to shorten the amount of time you spend on the ground. It's not about perfection, it's about resilience. And here's how it works. In practice, it has three parts. First, the new goal is not perfection. I have a friend in real estate who created a perfect streak of weekly updates for years.
He got so caught up in the perfection that he lost track of his why and the passion for it. That habit became a prison. The goal isn't the perfect streak. It's making a real meaningful progress. Second. The win is going on Tuesday. A while back, I set a goal to get 10,000 steps every day, and I had a great streak, but then I missed the day and my inner critic went wild, but then I remembered my own rule to bounce back faster.
The real victory wasn't getting the steps. It was forgiving myself and showing up again. The goal isn't to be a person who never misses a day. It's to build the identity of a person who always gets back up. Third, reward the bounce, not just the action. And this is the most important part. You have to reward yourself for continuing to try.
It can be as simple as telling yourself, okay, yesterday was a hiccup, but I'm proud of myself for showing up today. That's what matters.
Now I know what some of you might be thinking. What if my hiccup lasts more than just one day? The answer is the same. The goal is to just start again as soon as you can without waiting for a perfect Monday. The goal is to make the time it takes for you to bounce back faster. Shorter. That's it. If it takes you three days this week and only two next, you are winning.
Plain and simple. And maybe you're wondering, what if I just don't feel like bouncing back? I get it. We've all been there. But that's when you have to get serious with yourself and remember why you wanted to create this habit in the first place. Really connect with that feeling and then ask yourself, why don't I feel like it?
Is it because you're worried you lost your perfect streak? Is it that failure feeling creeping back in? Often, I don't feel like it is just a cover for a deeper fear, and this isn't just my opinion. There's real science here. I came across the work of leading researcher Dr. Kristin Neff, and it was a total game changer for me.
She has proven that self-compassion. Is a way better motivator than self-criticism. And her big point is that self-compassion isn't about being lazy or letting yourself off the hook. It's an active practice made up of three simple parts. First, there's self-kindness. This just means treating yourself like you would treat a good friend who messed up.
Instead of beating yourself up, you're supporting and understanding. Second, there's common humanity. This is a big one. It's the act of remembering that you are not the only person in the world who has ever missed the day at the gym. Everyone struggles, everyone has hiccups. It's part of the shared human experience, not a unique personal failure.
And third, there's mindfulness. This just means noticing that you're feeling bad about the hiccup without getting totally carried away by the drama. You see the feeling for what it is a feeling, and you don't let it become your whole identity when you put it all together. Her research is the science behind 'bounce back faster'.
You are being kind to yourself, Remi, remembering that everyone messes up and mindfully choosing to get back on track. That's what builds real sustainable resilience. So the takeaway is simple. Forget perfection. Embrace the hiccups, and when you fall off, just focus on one thing, 'bounce back faster'.
Your challenge for next week. The next time you have a hiccup with a habit, notice that inner critic and tell it to take a hike. Then consciously celebrate the win of getting back on track. Next episode, we're getting into some tough love with an episode called Terrified of Failing. You're Already Failing.
All right, that was what I got for you today. Thanks for hanging out with me. Remember, this is the Rhonda Lavoie podcast, and this is where we focus on getting it done and keeping it real. If today's conversation was helpful, the easiest way to make sure you don't miss the next one is to hit follow or subscribe in your favorite podcast app.
New episodes drop every Tuesday. You can find the show notes and a full transcript for this episode over@rhondaLavoie.com. And hey, if you're interested in the Paced App by project that's all about helping you take back your time at your own pace, you can follow the journey at getpaced.app. Until next time, get it done and keep it real
