How to Handle Internet Trolls & My "Unfancy Sunday" Routine

Written By Rhonda Lavoie

Show Notes

Your mission is bigger than a stranger's ignorant comment.

Have you ever had a moment that made you want to pull the plug on your big dreams? This week, I’m getting raw about the "cheap seat" remarks I received after putting myself out there on video—comments that weren't about my business, but about my appearance. I’m walking you through the "ouch" of being told I have a "big ass forehead" and how I moved from that initial gut-punch of hurt into a place of strength and laughter.

But this isn't just about trolls; it's about your energy. I’m breaking down why your brain can't just "delete" a feeling and how unprocessed emotions leave a "threat file" open that drains your battery. I’ll share the three simple things we do in our house on an Unfancy Sunday to close those mental loops and protect our peace before the week begins

In This Episode:

  • (00:05) – Why you are a victim of interruptions, not insecurities.

  • (03:16) – The "Billboard" Story: When the cheap seats start chirping.

  • 06:10) – The Zeigarnik Effect: Why you can't just "delete" a mean comment.

  • (07:13) – The Unfancy Sunday: 3 steps to keep it simple, laid back, and low key.

  • (09:38) – Paced as a Pattern Interrupt: Breaking the digital trance.

  • (11:13) – Recap & Your Weekly Challenge.

Resources Mentioned:

  • The Zeigarnik Effect: The science of why unfinished tasks drain your battery.

  • The Paced App: getpaced.app

  • Rhonda's Website: rhondalavoie.com

This Week's Challenge:

Try an "Unfancy Sunday." Don't try to be perfect or have gourmet meal prep for the sake of a photo. Just close the files: put the plan on the counter, discuss the meals, check the groceries, and look at transportation so you aren't guessing on Monday morning. Give yourself permission to have a cereal or frozen pizza night so you can actually enjoy your family

🔗 CONNECT WITH RHONDA

·       Music for The Rhonda Lavoie Podcast written and recorded by Wade and Tan Fehr.

Transcript

[00:00:05] You are not a victim of your insecurities, you are a victim of your interruptions. So I had a moment this week that almost made me pull the plug on recording the podcast is video. As you know, I've been putting myself out there in all the places lately. Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, LinkedIn, YouTube, and I got a couple of "cheap seat" remarks from strangers recently.

[00:00:31] It wasn't about my business, it was about my appearance, and for a second I felt it a hot flash of maybe they're right. Maybe I should hide. But here's the truth, my mission. Your mission is bigger than a stranger's ignorant comment. Our value is not tied to a camera angle if you wait until you are flawless to show up.

[00:00:59] You are choosing to stay small to please people who aren't even in the game. It is time to stop letting the pixels ruin the whole picture. Hey everyone. Welcome back. This is the Rhonda Lavoie podcast and I am your host, Rhonda Lavoie. If you've been following along lately, we've been talking a lot about the willpower battery.

[00:01:21] We've looked at why you feel like you have a digital hangover, and how we often use productive procrastination like scrubbing the baseboards to avoid the big scary dreams. But today. I wanna get real about the feeling of dread that starts to creep in on a Sunday afternoon when you know the week is coming for you.

[00:01:42] Today, is about the Unfancy Sunday. We're talking about why a printed calendar in a frozen pizza might actually be the secret to your mental health. But first, I need to tell you a story. You all know that I have been putting myself out there over the last few months. I've been creating these podcast episodes now as video, and I'm creating multiple reels every week.

[00:02:07] I'm posting these shorts in all the places. Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube shorts, LinkedIn. I have really, truly been putting myself out there. Well, over the last couple of weeks I've had a couple of comments that instantly sent me in a tailspin. And today I wanna share them with you, not to complain, but because I think it's so important to share the real world hard stuff.

[00:02:35] If we're going to learn and grow and continue to show up. We have to start talking about what happens when the cheap seats start chirping. You know the ones, I mean. The internet trolls who don't have anything better to do than comment about everything except for what the reel is actually about, and it's never in a positive way.

[00:02:57] Well, these comments were about my appearance, and I'm sure you'll be shocked to hear that the comments were from men, one guy, OMGSteve. He commented, the only losing battle I see is that big a$$ forehead, godahm. And then unmmortal18###.

[00:03:16] Chimed in with you can make a living with that billboard. Ouch, right? Just ouch. Even when you've got thick skin, that initial hit feels like a physical punch. I went through the stages. I really did. First it was that gut punch of hurt. I felt exposed. I looked at the screen and I felt like a kid again.

[00:03:39] Being picked on in the schoolyard. I started wondering, is that all people see? It made me worry that everyone was judging me instead of hearing the message. But then, then I got fiery. I got angry because it's just so rude and ignorant and completely unnecessary. I thought about my parents and my grandparents, the people who told us.

[00:04:03] If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. I wanted to shout. Hello, captain. Obvious I've had this forehead my whole life. It's not a surprise to me, but here's the real kicker. Those reels, they were about why you feel overwhelmed. The text overlay literally said you were not lazy. I was talking about why you're always tired when the brain boss quits for the day.

[00:04:29] I'm out here trying to give women their lives back and these guys are worried about a big a$$ forehead. What on earth does that have to do with the fact that your brain is depleted and you need better systems? Then the anger softened into sadness. I looked at those comments and I realized that anyone who spends their time.

[00:04:50] Hunting for flaws on a stranger's face while she's talking about mental health is likely someone who is deeply, deeply insecure themselves. They are fighting a battle I don't want any part of. And finally, I found my strength. I realized I am a beautiful person. I have big ideas. I have a big heart, and I have big business.

[00:05:18] If I have a big a$$ forehead, then great. It's just more room to house the strategy that's going to help you win, and let's be real. Those trolls clearly love me because they spend so much time looking at my face and typing those comments that they've officially triggered the algorithm. Now their entire feed is going to be full of me, so secretly they love me.

[00:05:43] I love it. Now, I know that some of you are thinking, Rhonda, it's just a comment. Just delete it, move on. And logically you're right, but biologically, your brain doesn't work that way. You can't just delete a feeling. If you don't process it. You aren't closing the tab, you're just minimizing the window while the program runs in the background.

[00:06:10] It's straining your battery. We talked about the Zeigarnik effect, how your brain obsesses over unfinished business. An unprocessed emotion is the ultimate unfinished business. If I just hit delete while my heart is still racing and my stomach is in knots, that "threat file" stays open. To truly close the file, you have to go through the cycle.

[00:06:36] You have to feel the hurt, then the anger, then the sadness before you can reach the strength. This is how you actually earn your rest. If you try to skip the ugly emotions because you think a boss shouldn't feel them,

[00:06:52] you are actually keeping yourself stuck in a loop. Of mind filled scrolling. You think you're resting but you aren't. Strength isn't about being bulletproof. It's about having the system to move through the sting, so you can get back to the mission. This is where we have to get practical. So

[00:07:13] sundays for so many of us is the day to look ahead to what's coming at us this week, and it often can come with a feeling of dread. So in our house, we have three simple things that we try and do on Sundays to keep it simple, laid back, and low key so that we can all rest before the week ahead. Because if I'm drowning in questions like, what's for dinner or wait, what activities are the kids in today and how are they getting home?

[00:07:40] I won't have the 15 minutes of battery life. I need to process the hard stuff. Like those comments we talked about. I'll just snap at my family or I'll hide, or I'll spend the whole night in a digital trance on my phone just trying to numb the stress. So let's talk about those three steps. First. We use a printed calendar to plan our weeks.

[00:08:04] We keep it handy. It just sits right there on the counter. We sit down as a family and we look at the week together. We discuss ideas for meals for each day, and then we actually double check if we have the things we need in the house for those meals. If we're missing something, we add it to the grocery list right away, and then I'm able to know what we need when I'm out and about the city.

[00:08:27] We also look at the activities, who's going where, and more importantly, how are they getting back? And then depending on how much running we have determines if we can slot in some family nights, like game night or movie night. Once that plan is on the counter, I don't have to use my "boss brain" on Monday morning to figure out the logistics.

[00:08:46] That loop is closed. Next up Sunday, meal time. I care about my family, but I also care about my sanity. So some Sundays we keep it quick and easy. It might be every person for themselves. It might be cereal for supper or frozen pizza, and there's zero guilt in that. It's about choosing a stress free evening where can actually be present with my family

[00:09:13] instead of being stuck in the kitchen over a complicated meal that leaves me exhausted and cranky. We keep it simple. And the third thing is the phone. When I'm tired, the urge to just check the stats of the app or see if there are more of those comments is so strong. It's like I'm looking for trouble when I'm already drained.

[00:09:38] That's where I use Paced as a circuit breaker. Now Paced isn't a fortress. It's not meant to lock me in a digital prison. It's a pattern Interrupt. It lets me go on my guilty pleasure apps, but it ensures I don't get stuck there. When I hit my limit on those distracting apps, the ones where I'm tempted to go hunting for the "cheap seat" comments, a cool down timer pops up.

[00:10:00] It's like a hand on your shoulder saying, Hey, you're in a trance. You should snap out of it. Now if I really wanna keep scrolling, I can "walk to unlock". I trade a hundred steps for a few more minutes of screen time. Those hundred steps around the Kitchen island.

[00:10:15] Tell my nervous system. Hey, we're moving, we're awake. Usually by step 50, the spell is broken. I realize I'd much rather be sitting on the couch with my family than arguing with a stranger in the "cheap seats" who thinks I have a big a$$ forehead? This week, I want to challenge you to try an Unan Sunday.

[00:10:35] Don't try to be perfect. Don't try to have that gourmet meal prep For the sake of the photo, just close the files, put the plan on the counter, discuss the meals, check the groceries, and look at transportation so you aren't guessing on Monday morning,

[00:10:49] give yourself permission to have the cereal or the frozen pizza night so you can actually enjoy your family and save your energy for the things that matter. And for heaven stakes, stay outta the comment section when you're tired. Trust me. You have big ideas and a big heart. Don't let a small comment or a messy Monday stop you from showing up and sharing your message.

[00:11:13] Thank you for listening. To review what I chatted about today or to find the links in the show notes, please visit rhondalavoie.com. If you're an Android user, go grab the pay app on the Play store, and if you are an Apple user, get on that wait list at getpaced.app

[00:11:29] Stop hiding from your life and start showing up in it. Big ass forehead and all. I'm Rhonda Lavoie. Keep it real and get it done. I'll see you next week.

Rhonda Lavoie
Next

How to Stop the Procrastination Cycle: Why You Feel Lazy (But Aren't)