Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Why High Achievers Feel Like Frauds

Written By Rhonda Lavoie

Show Notes

Stop apologizing for being a beginner and start leaning into the "Magnetic Rookie" phase.

If you’ve spent the last 20 or 30 years building a reputation as the one with all the answers, stepping into something new isn't just scary—it’s an ego shock. In this episode, Rhonda explores why high achievers are literally "addicted to competence" and how that addiction keeps us trapped in roles we’ve outgrown just because they feel safe.

Rhonda pulls back the curtain on her own "Identity Friction" while launching the Paced app, revealing how even successful entrepreneurs feel like frauds when they step onto a global stage. You’ll learn how to identify the five types of Imposter Syndrome—from the Soloist to the Natural Genius—and get a three-step strategy to turn that "shaky" feeling into expansion.

In This Episode:

  • (00:03) – The "Magnetic Rookie": Why being a student again is your superpower.

  • (02:16) – The Competence Trap: How our "Expert Badge" becomes a cage.

  • (03:56) – Identity Friction: The truth about playing it safe on the international stage.

  • (06:10) – The 5 Faces of Imposter Syndrome (Which one are you?).

  • (07:41) – The Strategy: 3 Steps to Filter the Truth and Relabel the Fear.

  • (09:35) – The Paced Philosophy: Using friction to break the overthinking loop.

  • (11:25) – Recap & Your Weekly Challenge: Owning your "beginner" wins.

Resources Mentioned:

  • The 5 Types of Imposter Syndrome: The Superperson, The Soloist, The Perfectionist, The Natural Genius, and The Discounter.

  • The Paced App: A tool to help you move from your overthinking brain into your acting body.

This Week's Challenge:

Write down one thing you were proud of this week—not something you did perfectly, but something you were brave enough to do while still in the "not good at it yet" stage.

🔗 CONNECT WITH RHONDA

·       Music for The Rhonda Lavoie Podcast written and recorded by Wade and Tan Fehr.

Transcript

[00:00:05] I was sitting at my desk the other day just staring at the Paced dashboard, and I had this moment where I felt like a total rookie. Now, keep in mind, I've spent the last 20 or 30 years building a reputation as the person who has the answers and my real estate world, I'm the expert. The one people call when they need a complex contract navigated or a problem solved.

[00:00:34] It's comfortable there, but stepping into the tech space, I've had to trade in that expert badge for a beginner one. And I'll be honest, it's a total ego shock, but I realize something if you already have it all, but you're still gutsy enough to try something you haven't done yet.

[00:00:55] You are the most magnetic person in the room. You aren't a fraud for winging it. You're a pioneer because you're willing to be a student again when everyone else our age is settling for comfort. Welcome back. This is the Rhonda Lavoie podcast, and I am your host, Rhonda Lavoie. I am so happy you've carved out a little time to sit with me today.

[00:01:18] We are officially five weeks into the launch of The Paced App and we're sitting around 150 downloads now. I've been doing a lot of reflection on that journey. A couple of weeks ago, we hit that 100 plus download milestone, and I really did celebrate it. I felt that surge of, wow, we're actually doing this, but then almost immediately, this identity friction started to creep in.

[00:01:46] It's that weird space when your old self is fighting your new self. I'm a woman from the prairies. I'm a realtor, and sometimes when I say the words tech founder out loud, my brain waits for someone to laugh. It feels like a tall tale, but as I'm navigating these unknowns, I'm realizing that the scary part of being a beginner.

[00:02:13] Is actually just excitement that hasn't found its footing yet. I'm getting lost in the learning again. And honestly, it's the most refreshing thing I've felt in a long time. I wanna dive deep into why this transition feels so heavy for us. Think about your life for a second.

[00:02:36] Most of us listening have spent 20 or 30 years becoming the person who knows things. We've mastered our jobs. We've figured out how to run our households. We've built a reputation for being the one who can handle it all. We are literally addicted to our own competence. It feeds the ego to be needed, and there's nothing wrong with that.

[00:02:56] There's a massive amount of comfort in having the answers, but here's the danger. We start to value ourselves. Only for what we already know, rather than our capacity to learn, we get trapped in these safe zones. We stay on the parent council committee for the fifth year in a row, not because we're still passionate about it, but because we know the bylaws by heart and it feels safe to be the expert there.

[00:03:27] We become terrified that if we try something new and we aren't immediately good at it. We'll lose the respect. We spent three decades building. We're afraid that if people see us winging it, they'll think we've lost our edge. If you haven't figured it out yet, we're talking about imposter syndrome. We often think of it as something that only hits 20 year olds in their first job, but it actually hits high achievers the hardest when we decide to pivot later in life.

[00:03:56] It's that internal voice that convinces you that you are a fraud despite all the evidence. That you're actually a pioneer. And the way this syndrome usually shows up isn't by stopping us entirely. It's by making us play it safe so we don't get exposed.

[00:04:16] I can see this exact pattern playing out in my life right now with the international marketing for Paced. On the surface, I've been making what sounds like a very logical, expert business decision. I've been telling myself that we're going to wait for the iOS version to be ready before we really start pushing it to the world.

[00:04:37] But if I'm being honest with myself. If I look at it through the lens of imposter syndrome, I think I'm just staying local because I don't feel like I have enough experience yet to stand on that global stage.

[00:04:50] It's a way to avoid the spotlight while I'm still in that, not good at it yet phase. And that's the thing about this journey. It can feel like you're on an island, you look around and you don't see anyone else willing to look like a rookie for the sake of their dream.

[00:05:08] I was thinking about this the other day. When you're 22 and fresh outta school, everyone is a beginner. You and all your friends are in the same boat stumbling along together, but when you pivot at 50. None of your friends are doing it. Most people our age are starting to eye retirement, or they're settling into the deep comfort of their established careers, and here we are trying to build something from scratch, feeling like a total beginner again.

[00:05:38] You might even feel a bit of shame when you have to ask for help thinking you should be able to handle everything independently. But I wanna tell you that loneliness, it's a sign that you're ahead of the curve not behind it.

[00:05:53] There is something incredibly inspiring and magnetic about a woman who has the guts to try something new when she already appears to have it all figured out. To move through this, we have to name the specific ways we sabotage our own growth.

[00:06:09] I already mentioned a few of these, but let's look at how they actually show up for us. The super person is the one who believes they must be the hardest worker or the highest achiever to be "real". If you aren't working late or running yourself into burnout, you feel like a fraud. I see this when I feel like I have to master every detail of pace overnight just to justify calling myself a founder.

[00:06:36] Then you have the soloist. This is the belief that you should handle everything independently. If you can't succeed without support, you consider yourself unworthy. The perfectionist focuses on how things are done. If it isn't flawless, you feel like a failure and you're actually avoiding new things because you can't do them perfectly right away. I felt this with the international stage, the feel that if the launch isn't perfect, it's a failure. Now the natural genius believes they should get it right the first time. If something is challenging, they feel embarrassed and shut down. Your brain says, maybe you aren't cut out for this.

[00:07:14] Instead of you're just learning. And finally, the discounter. This is the thanks but habit. You rationalize away your success by saying it was "just luck" or "that anyone could do it". We do this because we're so focused on the bits we haven't mastered yet. So what do we actually do when we catch ourselves falling into these traps?

[00:07:41] Because we will. Well, first, we acknowledge the consequence. You have to stop and realize exactly what this mindset is costing you. If you are the perfectionist, the consequence might be that you've been tweaking your new business website for six months, which means you aren't being able to start helping anyone, yet you are sacrificing your impact for an impossible standard.

[00:08:08] If you're the super person, the consequences, burnout, trading your health and family time to prove you weren't a fraud. And for the national genius, you're essentially cutting off your own growth because you're too embarrassed to be seen in the learning phase. When I feel the soloist taking over, I have to realize if I don't ask for help, I'm hitting a ceiling. I'm limiting how many people pace can actually help. So identify the consequence. Then we will filter the truth when the internal critic starts talking, ask yourself, is what I'm telling myself actually true. Did I really not deserve these 150 downloads? Or if it's easier, reframe it.

[00:08:52] Would you say this to a friend? If a friend started a new business at 50, would you tell her she was a fraud? Of course not. You tell her she was a pioneer. We need to start treating ourselves with that same grace, so filter the truth. And lastly, we can relabel the feeling. That shaky, relentless feeling isn't fraudulence.

[00:09:17] It's expansion. It's the psychological proof that you have left that safe zone and are becoming something bigger. Instead of letting that feeling shut you down, let it be the evidence that you're moving in the right direction. When someone gives you a win, just say thank you.

[00:09:35] Full stop. No buts. And this is exactly why the philosophy of Paced isn't about being perfect. It's about creating friction. When your brain is in that "expert loop", worried about international launch or feeling like a soloist, your habit is probably to reach for your phone to distract. Paced doesn't let you just slide into that distraction.

[00:10:05] It forces a cool down timer. It creates a gap where you can actually breathe. And while you're waiting for that timer, you have a choice. You can sit there and stew, or you can use the movement to clear your head. You can choose to walk. Every 100 steps you take, reduces that timer by three minutes.

[00:10:21] It's not just about the numbers, it's about moving from your overthinking brain into your acting body in those steps. I realize I don't need to be a tech genius today. I just need to be a tech founder who is willing to not be good at this yet I've started using those cool down moments to remind myself of a mantra we need to live by.

[00:10:43] Done is better than perfect. I am not waiting for the iOS version to feel like a success.

[00:10:50] I am celebrating the 150 people who are already using this tool to reclaim their time. I am learning to accept the compliment of tech founder without adding a, but at the end. This week, I want you to try that too. Stop qualifying your wins.

[00:11:05] Stop telling people why it doesn't count yet. If you did the thing, it counts. As we wrap up today, I want to leave you with one task. Write down one thing you were proud of this week. Not something you did perfectly, but something you were brave enough to do, even though you were in that not good at it yet stage.

[00:11:25] Maybe it was a pivot in your business, or finally admitting you needed help with a project, breaking that soloist cycle whatever it is. Own it. There is so much power in being the person who is still excited and still willing to try new things, especially when the world expects you to just settle down.

[00:11:44] You are more magnetic when you are learning than when you are pretending to have all the answers. If you wanna dig deeper into the types of imposter syndrome we talked about today, you can find all the details and resources in the show notes at rhondalavoie.com.

[00:11:58] If you're on Android, go grab, Paced, let it help you clear the noise so you can focus on the next big thing. And if you're on iOS, hang in there. We're in the trenches building it, and I'm learning to love the mess of the process.

[00:12:11] If this episode resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you would share it with a friend who might be going through their own late life pivot. And if you have a spare moment, please leave us a five star review on your favorite platform. It really helps us reach more people who need to hear this message, and I'd love to hear what you're proud of.

[00:12:30] Reach out on Instagram at Rhonda Lavoie. Let's be beginners together. As always, keep it real and get it done. I'll talk to you next week.

Rhonda Lavoie
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