The Notification Detox: A 3-Step Plan to Reclaim Your Focus
Show Notes
Ever feel that jolt of anxiety when your phone "dings"? You're in an important meeting or at dinner with your family, and even if you don't look, the sound alone shatters your focus. Let's be honest: this isn't a personal failure or a lack of willpower. It's a system designed to work against you, based on a "dopamine loop" that keeps you hooked.
In this episode, Rhonda shares her "aha moment" about phone notifications and gives you the simple, "unfancy" 3-step system she used to take back control. This is the "Notification Detox". We'll talk about the real cost of "context switching" (it takes 23 minutes to get your focus back!) and walk through the "Audit, Purge, and Reintroduction" plan.
This isn't about perfection; it's about awareness. Often, we're not just scrolling; we're using our phones as an "unconscious escape" from feelings like overwhelm or exhaustion. Tired of this feeling? You're not alone. I'm building a tool to help. Join the "Paced" app waitlist.
In This Episode:
(00:01:27) - The familiar pattern: Feeling anxiety from every single notification "ding".
(00:02:44) - The "Aha Moment": Realizing there is no such thing as a "social media emergency".
(00:03:40) - The "Why": It's not your fault; apps are designed to be addictive (The Dopamine Loop).
(00:04:35) - The true cost of interruptions: "Context Switching" and the 23-minute rule.
(00:06:15) - The 3-Step System: How to start your own "Notification Detox".
(00:07:36) - Step 2: The Purge (and why you must be ruthless).
(00:11:42) - Your 48-Hour
Resources Mentioned:
Concept: Context Switching
Concept: Dopamine Loop
Tool: The Paced App
This Week's Challenge:
Do Step 2: The Purge. For just 48 hours, go into your settings and turn off all notifications except for phone calls and texts. Just see what it feels like to own your focus.
🔗 CONNECT WITH RHONDA
Website: rhondalavoie.com
Instagram: @rhonda.lavoie
Facebook: Rhonda Lavoie
TikTok:@ rhonda.lavoie
Follow the Paced App journey: getpaced.app
Music for The Rhonda Lavoie Podcast: "Sunny Days" by Jimmy Gunnarsson via Descript.
Transcript
[00:00:04] Ever feel like you're caught in that all or nothing trap or held back by the fear of failing? Welcome to The Rhonda Lavoie Podcast the show that's all about getting it done and keeping it real. I'm your host, Rhonda Lavoie. Each week we dig into the real stories and share simple unfancy ways to help you move forward.
[00:00:24] We'll explore the real reasons we all get stuck, like feeling overwhelmed or dealing with imposter syndrome and exhaustion. And figure out how to get out of our own way. This is the podcast where we explore the why behind our habits. If you're ready to see your own potential, you're in the right place.
[00:00:44] Let's get into it. All right. Welcome back. I'm so glad you're here. So today, today we're doing what I call a system spotlight. And I have to be honest, this is one that I think is going to hit home, like really hit home for a lot of you. It's a topic that has been on my mind so much lately and I just, I had to talk about it with you. We have to get into this. We're talking about our phones. Yeah, I know, but I want to start by talking about a pattern I noticed in my own life, and as I'm telling you this, I just, I bet it's going to sound familiar.
[00:01:27] For me, the pattern was this, this feeling, this anxiety almost. This feeling that every single notification, every single "ding" felt like it needed to be looked at right now. And it didn't matter what I was doing. I mean, think about it. I'd be sitting in a really important meeting with a real estate client, you know, trying to be 100% present, trying to really listen and " ding"
[00:01:58] Or even worse, I'd be at the dinner table right in the middle of a conversation with my family. Someone's telling a story, "ding" . And you know that feeling right? That little jolt. And here's the key part. I wouldn't even pick up the phone. I mean, I'm sitting there with my family.
[00:02:19] But it didn't matter. Just the sound, just the "ding" was the entire interruption. My brain just left the conversation. I was physically there, but my head was gone. I was suddenly thinking, who was that? Is that an email I'm waiting for? Is that a client? My focus was just shattered.
[00:02:44] And then one day I just, I, I had this aha moment. I was probably thinking about one of those dings that interrupted me, and I just stopped and I thought, what am I doing? What on earth is so important that it's allowed to just hijack my life all day long, every day? And that's when it hit me. This is the key right here.
[00:03:11] There is no such thing as a social media or email emergency, right? There's no Facebook emergency, there's no Instagram emergency. All of those notifications, every single one, they could wait. And in that moment I knew I had to take back control, that was the start of my notification detox.
[00:03:40] But before I get into the how, the three step system, I really wanna talk about the why, because this to me is the most important part. Let's be really, really honest here. You and me. If you feel the same jolt, that same pull, I need you to hear me on this. It is not your fault. I'll say it again. It is not your fault.
[00:04:07] It is not a moral failing. It's not a lack of willpower, that pattern. It's by design. These companies, they want you hooked. These apps are designed to be addictive. That ding it's slot machine. It's not even an analogy. It's literally based on the same psychology. It's what they call a dopamine loop, and it's programmed to hook you.
[00:04:35] But here's the part that really got me the cost, the real world cost of that pattern. There's this concept, it sounds a bit technical, but it's so simple when you think about it. It's called context switching. All it means is your brain is being forced to jump back and forth, back and forth from your family to your phone's potential, from your work.
[00:04:57] To that ding. That might be all. Day. Long. And get this, the research on this is, well, it's actually shocking. I looked it up. Studies show it can take an average of 23 minutes, 23 minutes to fully get your focus back after just one interruption. And that's what we're
[00:05:23] talking about. That "ding" is the interruption. Even if you don't pick up the phone. Now just stop and think about that. Just stop and think about your day. If your brain is getting pulled away 20 times an hour, 30 times an hour, you are never in a state of deep focus. You're spending your entire day just trying to catch up. You're living in this state of, of frazzled and scattered energy.
[00:05:51] That's not a personal failure. That's not you being bad at focusing. That is a system designed to work against you. So today we're going to build our own system to fight back. Okay, so how do you break this pattern? How do we actually do this? I'm not just gonna tell you the problem.
[00:06:15] I'm going to give you the fix. It's what I did, and I'm telling you it worked. Here's my simple Unfancy three step system, my notification detox. Okay? First step one is the audit. I call it the five minute triage
[00:06:35] because you can't fix what you don't face, right? So I actually want you to do this. I want you to grab your phone and I want you to go to settings. I'm gonna do it right now too. Go to settings and then go to notifications. And then on my phone, I have to go to app notifications and it brings you the whole list of all of the apps.
[00:06:59] And I just want you to take a minute and scroll and look at that list. Look at all of those apps that have permission to interrupt your life's crazy. There's, there's so many apps we have on our phones and they all come automatic with notifications it seems. So scroll through that list. And for every single one of these apps, I want you to ask one question, does this notification serve me or do I serve it and go through all of them?
[00:07:36] And that's it. That's the audit. I just want you to go through all of that. And now step two is the purge. This is the big one. This is where you take back that power. You have to be ruthless about this too. My rule is simple. When in doubt, turn it off. And I mean, I mean everything, all social media. Off.
[00:07:58] All those retail and game apps, you know the ones your cart is waiting off, off, off. All email. Yes, even email. Off. I promise the world will not end. I turned off everything except for two things, phone calls and text.
[00:08:15] The actual human to human. I might need this stuff because like I realized there is no such thing as a social media or email emergency. It can all wait. Okay, and finally, step three is the reintroduction. Now I'm going to be really, really honest with you here because this is the Keeping It Real part, . That 48 hour challenge, I'm going to give you those first 48 hours. They're probably going to feel weird. You're going to feel a little uncomfortable. You might even feel a little lost. You'll be in one of those in between moments, you know, waiting for the coffee to brew or standing in line at the store, and your hand will automatically go to your phone and there'll be nothing there, no dings, no red dots, and you'll have this moment of.
[00:09:08] Well, what do I do now? You won't know what to do with your hands, what to do with your time. I need you to know though that feeling, that feeling is the whole point. That discomfort, that's the sound of the pattern breaking. That's the algorithm losing its grip on you. So just sit with that feeling for a second.
[00:09:34] Notice it, acknowledge it. That is the win. And then after that initial uncomfortable weirdness, then you'll start to feel it. The quiet. And that is amazing. You'll actually be able to think that emergency feeling, that jolt, it's gonna be gone. And after that 48 hours, if, and that's a big, if. You think you truly missed something, like critically missed it, you can go back and mindfully turn on that one notification.
[00:10:15] You are in charge. You are intentionally choosing what's allowed into your world, not the other way around.
[00:10:24] Hey, real quick, we're talking about feeling overwhelmed by our phones today, and I just want to be really honest about how we all cope with that feeling.
[00:10:32] How many times when you feel that trigger, maybe it's overwhelm, maybe it's imposter syndrome. Do you just check your phone for a minute only to look up 45 minutes later, wondering where the time went? That's the unconscious escape we fall into. We think we're scrolling for pleasure, but a lot of the time we're really just scrolling to escape a feeling.
[00:10:52] That's the exact reason I'm building the Paced App. It's not a punishment or a jail for your phone. It's a partner. It's a simple, non-judgmental tool that gives you a gentle pattern. Interrupt, just a pause so you can be the one to decide, did I get the laugh I came here for, or am I just stuck? So on this podcast, we'll always explore the why behind these habits and the Paced App.
[00:11:16] That's the tool I'm building to help with the how to join the wait list and follow the journey. Visit getpaced.app, that's G.E.T.P.A.C.E.D dot A.P.P Alright, let's get back to the show. Okay, so my challenge for you this week, you probably guessed it already, it's step two, it's the purge. I dare you. I really do for just 48 hours.
[00:11:42] Just two days. Do exactly what I did. Go into your settings and turn off all your notifications, except for your phone calls and texts. Let's break this pattern together. Let's just see. See what it feels like to own your focus. What's the worst that could happen? You can always turn them back on, but I have a feeling, a strong feeling.
[00:12:03] You won't. All right. That's what I've got for you this week. Thanks so much for hanging out with me. Remember, this is The Rhonda Lavoie Podcast and this is where we focus on getting it done and keeping it real. If today's conversation was helpful, the easiest way to make sure you don't miss the next one is to hit follow or subscribe in your favorite podcast app.
[00:12:22] New episodes drop every Tuesday. You can find the show notes and full transcript for this episode over at rhondalavoie.com.
[00:12:30] And hey, if you're interested in The Paced App, the tool I'm building to help take back our time, you can follow the journey at getppaced.app Until next time, take care.
